Funny Marriage Quotes

--I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like toxic Waste

--When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.

- After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.

--By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.

-- A happy marriage is a matter of giving and taking; the husband gives and the wife takes

--Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.

-- The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, "What does a woman want?--

--I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.

--"Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays"

--I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years."-

--"There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage."-

--I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me and the second one didn't

--It's true that all men are born free and equal, but some of them get married!

--Marriage is the process of finding out what kind of man your wife would have preferred.

--Marry not a tennis player. For love means nothing to them.

--Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming
1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it,
2. Whenever you're right, shut up.

-- My wife only has 2 complaints. Nothing to wear and not enough closet space.


.-- A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong

--Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with the enemy.


--"I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her."-