CHANGES IN MARRIAGE

When you are dating..... Farting is never an issue
When you are married ....You make sure there's nothing flammable near your husband...... at all times

When you are dating..... He takes you out to have a good time
When you are married ....He brings home a 6 pack, and says "What are you going to drink?"

When you are dating..... He holds your hand in public
When you are married ....He flicks your ear in public

When you are dating..... A Single bed for 2 isn't THAT bad
When you are married ....A King size bed feels like an army cot

When you are dating..... You are turned on at the sight of him naked When you are married ....You think to yourself...."Was he ALWAYS this hairy????"

When you are dating..... You enjoyed foreplayWhen you are married ....You tell him "If we have sex, will you leave me alone???"

When you are dating..... You picture the two of you together, growing old togetherWhen you are married ....You wonder who will die first

When you are dating..... Just looking at him makes you feel all "mushy"
When you are married ....When you look at him, you want to claw his eyes out.

When you are dating..... He knows what the "hamper" is
When you are married ....The floor will suffice as a dirty clothes storage area

When you are dating..... He understands if you "aren't in the mood"
When you are married ....He says "It's your job."

When you are dating..... He understands that you have "male" friends
When you are married ....He thinks they are all out to steal you away

When you are dating..... He likes to "discuss" things
When you are married ....He develops a "blank" stare

When you are dating..... He calls you by name
When you are married ....He calls you "Hey" and refers to you when speaking to others as "She.